Trials of an addict

Hi. My name is Kim.

(response)
"Hi, Kim"

I'm an addict....a food addict.

I know that you may laugh, scoff or even roll your eyes (my specialty), but the dictionary describes an addict as thus:

verb
1. To cause to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance: The thief was addicted to cocaine.
2. To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively
noun
1. One who is addicted, as to narcotics or a compulsive activity.
2. A devoted adherent; a fan

Now, I know that the general population wouldn't describe cheese puffs or fast food as a habit forming substance (they probably haven't tried Abby's Pizza), but the key words in the first description are physiologically and psychologically. These words have nothing to do with hunger or the need to fuel the body.
So this being said, I have to ask.
Would you set a lit cigarrette in front of a person trying to quit smoking? A mixed drink in front of an alcoholic? Then why would it be ok to set a food (quite frankly ANY food) in front of a food addict?
Case in point:

As I sat quietly at my desk working today, a vendor stopped by and thougthfully brought in a box of homemade sticky buns. These are quite like a cinnamon roll but with caramel and walnuts and oh they smelled goooood.
The rest of the employees sat around talking with this wonderful gentleman who had brought in this delightful confection while I continued to stare at my computer and work diligently. Mostly trying to ignore what my nostrils were telling me otherwise...that there was free food in the room.
I politely turned down the several offers of "just half?"or "Kim, you HAVE to try these" that were granted to me (while secretly wishing they would all choke).
And you know, I did QUITE well.

Until....everyone was gone.
Not gone for a minute, not gone for a couple of hours, but gone. Home. For the weekend. And they left behind one..whole..sticky bun.

There is a scene from Pirates of the Carribean where one of the cursed pirates, Pintel, says "The Gold calls to us". Well, I will tell you that sticky bun was "calling" to me.
It didn't take long for me to devour said sticky bun.

The entire time I was wolfing and snarfing, my brain was screaming NO NO NO NO NO!
It said things like "You're gonna feel like "expletive" in an hour" and "What is wrong with you?". It continued with "You are letting everyone down", "You are working too hard to do this", and "Just STOP".
Well I did stop. Of course that was because I had inhaled the whole sticky bun and there was nothing else left to eat.

I am slowly learning why I am an addict. It's not an excuse, it's what I am. I know that it is not what I want to be and I can change. I have to overcome, but it will take patience, hard work and perseverence. Please know that I am going to stumble (or scarf, as it were), and that I will pick myself up and continue to overcome. I do not expect others to change the way, place or items they eat. It is MY problem, not anyone else's (although misery loves company, so I apologize ahead of time).

Just don't leave any sticky buns in my general direction....