The dog that returns to it's vomit

"I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk the path, I'll run the race,
And I will never be the same again".

The beginning words to this song are sad to me.
They are sad because they don't necessarily ring true.
Yes, you can NEVER be the same again. Once you have died to sin and been given the gift of eternal life, you really can't be the same. Yet I have seen someone I love dearly return to the bonds and chains that used to enslave him.

It physically hurts. There is real pain associated with observing someone else's bondage.
What hurts most, though, is knowing that you might have been able to help keep someone's freedom.

My brother is a Meth addict. He had been doing meth for almost a decade when he was able to hear God calling him to a better life. He took God up on His offer and gave his life over to Him.
What a change. What a difference. For the first time in my life I had a brother. A real brother. Not just a relative, but a brother in Christ. That was incredible. I talked to him about the spiritual bond we now shared. The gifts that we were both given.

But that relationship began to wane. My brother began to have problems that he couldn't, or didn't have the tools, to handle. He was overwhelmed.

What did his dear sister do? Nothing. Really, nothing. Oh I prayed. But what action did I take?
Not one. Did I go to him and confront him? No. Did I go seek counsil on his behalf? No. Did I stand up and take the arrows that the Enemy so precisely aimed at him? No.
I stood on the sidelines. I whined and complained. I was not what God has called me to be as a Sister. A Christian Sister.

Now, my brother is once again suffering from the active addiction to Meth. He has dug himself a hole I'm not sure that he can climb out of...without help.
I am here, forgiving my brother 70x7 times for the hurtful, drug-induced actions that he has taken against his family. This doesn't mean that I am not angry. I am.
I am hurting for my brother, who has allowed the evilness of his addiction to dictate some very bad actions.

I do not take responsibility for his actions, but for my In-action.

He is my brother. May he, and God, forgive me.